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Old 26-11-2010, 11:34 AM
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Default A funny story about "Richard the Third"

Last night I had a unexpected visit from one of my good friends the Rasta.

I have two cracking Kids Derran 6yrs old and Kieran nearly 5yrs. They are loud, lively, comical little git's and as most boys do they love Boggies, farting, belching, slugs, Worms, Stick insects and any thing else that makes most Adults cringe.
Because the innocent little buggers don't know when to keep their mouth's shut when we were out walking the dogs and one of the dogs did a plop! they would shout to the top of their lungs much to the embarrassment to my wife
"MUM/DAD milly did a POO" (Milly is one of our dogs)
So as I was brought up on "Cockney rhyming Slang" (my father was a true Cockney) I had the Idea to teach them that it wasn't called Poo,Turd,shit. It was a Richard (as in Richard the Third = Turd).....
So now they shout
"Milly did a Richard"
Quite ingenious I thought. It saves my wife from being embarrassed as no one else knew what the kids where shouting.
Then my eldest changed it slightly to describe the type of "Richard" so we have Runny Richards, Smelly Richards, Sticky Richards, Hairy Richards, Big Richards, Little Richards, Brown/yellow/green Richards ect ect ect.

Now back on track to what happened Last night when my mate Rasta came over for a Pow-Wow.
Yes My good friend Rasta, is Black as the ace of spades (just to stop any confusion) I introduced him to my kids as "RastaMan" but to call him Rasta.
During the evening my phone rang so I walked to the kitchen to answer it and put the kettle on. Rasta was playing with my kids when in the background I heard Kieran (my youngest pest) ask him why they call him Rasta and that's a funny name, Then Rasta told him that his real Name is RICHARD.

If only you could see My Wifes face!!!


Deano.....
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Old 26-11-2010, 11:38 AM
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Absolutely brilliant mate. Pure class!
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Old 26-11-2010, 11:43 AM
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Old 26-11-2010, 11:45 AM
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So how long did it take you to mend things? Being young kids, it's always straight out of the mouth of Babes.....
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Old 26-11-2010, 11:58 AM
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He's my mate and knows what I'm like, once I stopped crying with laughter and managed to breath and wipe the tears from my eyes I managed to explain it to him.
He just burst out laughing. My Wife wanted the floor to swallow her up though.....

Rasta Richard hahahaahhahahahaahahahhaa
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Old 26-11-2010, 12:05 PM
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LOL! All's good then!
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Old 26-11-2010, 12:14 PM
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hahaha yeah kids are horrid little things and make you sometimes regret having them lol

standing in ques in shops and there is an old person in front who could benefit from a good hot bath and nathan (4 yrs old) shouts 'core mum tell him to go away HE STINKS'

i have always told my lad don't hit 1st but if someone hits you then hit them back, shopping in asda my lad runs off i find him pulling on a man's crutch, i ran over and gave the man back his support and asked nathan what he was doing, he says 'well i bumped into him and said sorry and he hit me and you told me to hit people back if they hit me so i tried taking his stick off him to hit him back with it' how could i punish him for doing as i told him to do

he was about 2yrs old when he saw an old film with a white man under a bridge and the shadows made him look black nathan was like uhhh monkey, it took me ages to try to explain it to him and he realised it was a man, i took him out with me when he saw a black man and he pointed and shouted monkey, i was sooo and wanted to disappear i explained to the man what the situations was and he was very very understanding about it,

i have since learnt never take my child out without gagging him 1st lol
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Last edited by gypsybitch; 26-11-2010 at 12:15 PM.
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