Thought we might like to share TRUE stories of our eccentric relatives but please true ones only or it wouldn't be such fun - not that we'd know if you were telling porkies....

One of my Uncles moved out to Australia many years ago and worked with his wife on the Wall Of Death. Seen old photo's of them on the motor bike as it sped around the inside of the cylinder of the wall close to the top of the wall. His wife was sitting on the handle-bars as he rode the bike !!!!

He also worked with the lions and on the one occasion when I met him he showed me the scars on his neck that he received when the lion in whose mouth my Uncles head was decided to close it's mouth

His wife left him for another man and so my Uncle put a gun to his head and killed himself. He was a great chap, such a shame he ended up that way.

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My aunt is heavily interested in tracing our family tree, which in itself is ok.

She is absolutely obsessed with the idea that we have famous ancestors and has been for years. I once took an ex girlfriend to meet her and after the initial introductions, my aunt proudly announced to my girlfriend that i was the only living descendant of Blackbeard the Pirate.
It took me a long time to live that one down

very embarresing at the time. Went shopping with mum and dad was in asda, we had come from my Aunt and uncles house so they came too but in their car with their 2 kids. Their kids where egar to go around the shop with my mum and dad which i didnt think anything of it at the time, so i desided to go around with my aunt and uncle.

It was fine until we where out of distance for me to run back to mum and dad, then we turned down a row and out of nowhere my uncle grabbed my arm quite tight and started walking like an old man with bowed legs, tongue hanging out shouting take me home i need a sh*t. well 2 older blokes came over to see if i was ok and he done the same to them, telling them he was my dad and i wouldnt take him for a sh*t.

Turned another corner and it was like nothing had happened he was normal again. until we got to the end of the row where there was a stand with pringles on it. He went nuts again and started pushing and pulling the trolly shouting and slobbering down his chin then ran towards the pringle stand and let go of the trolly, over went the pringle stand with tubs of them everywhere.

I was nearly in tears by the time shopping had finished and needless to say never went shopping with them again

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To the world you could be one person,
But to one person you could be the world.

Sometimes the bad things in your life
open your eyes to the good things
you wasn't paying attention to before.

My misses did the hoovering once. That was quite eccentric behaviour for her.

My Aunt has a phobia of snakes.
We don't really get along.
Especially since I caught a large Montpellier snake in my tender years (age thirteen or so) and, not having anything better to store it in, put it into her picnic bag.
She didn't speak to me for a decade...

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Today's word count that hasn't gone towards my novel... /\ /\ /\ THIS MANY AND COUNTING!!!


Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc



"There is a pleasure, sure, in being mad, which none but mad men know"
John Dryden, "The Spanish Friar"

My aunt gets her tits out when she's drunk.

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I recall my late Granny took us to a restaurant once and proclaimed "My word, these napkins look far too good to eat"
My dad (who may well see this as he browses this forum from time to time) once spent some time trying to gain entry to a house by pressing what he thought was the door bell, but turned out to be a slug!
My mum, when visiting me in Glasgow (at a time when all my collection was in my bedroom, which is where she would sleep when visiting whilst I kipped on the sofa) picked up a photo frame to look at the photo only to find a "scorpion" on the back of it, and so threw it onto the ground. The "scorpion" was a silent cricket...

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Any chance you could let me know where your Aunt goes drinking?

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I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars.
The rest I just squandered.
George Best